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Before you met the now-love-of-your-life, you had a thing for that cutie you’ve known forever -- and you’re still friends. You always wondered “what if?” but nothing ever seems to happen. When he calls, you can’t help but break into a smile.
The risk: Those grins haven’t gone unnoticed. This provides perfect ammo for any argument you have with your partner, because why is he still in your phone anyway? Do yourself a favor and delete him. You had your chance, and it never worked out for a reason.
A FEW WHITE LIES ARE PART OF ANY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. SURE, YOU DON’T REALLY THINK IT’S CUTE THAT HIS MOTHER CALLS THE HOUSE THREE TIMES A DAY. AND MAYBE YOU DON’T ACTUALLY FIND HIS FAVORITE JOKE TO BE ALL THAT FUNNY. BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO FESS UP? HERE ARE FIVE SECRETS WOMEN KEEP -- AND WHEN THEY SHOULD CLUE THEIR PARTNERS IN ON THE TRUTH.
When you took your vows, you probably promised to love each other "for better or worse." Unfortunately, that includes putting up with your spouse's nastiest habit (keep reading and you'll see what we mean). The good news: Dirty dishes or a few towels on the bathroom floor don't have to get in the way of marital bliss. Here, real Nesties dish on their spouse's less-than-sexy tendencies, and we help them cope.
The secret: Splurging on a treat. You just blew $300 on a pair of shoes that you definitely didn't need (and can't even fit in your closet!). If it's a one-time splurge and you used your own extra money, keep your lips zipped and move on.
When to tell: If you're racking up credit card debt or using funds that the two of you have saved for something else -- like a second honeymoon or a down payment on a house -- it's time to come clean (and/or find that receipt and return the merch).
The secret: Contacting your ex. Even if you're finally ready to "just be friends" with someone from your past, your current partner may not be on the same page. If the two of you are exchanging quick "hellos" over email or reconnecting on Facebook, it's probably not a big deal.
When to tell: When the conversation turns flirty or you're scheduling meet-ups, honesty is the best policy. Imagine how you'd feel if the roles were reversed, and act accordingly.
The secret: Snooping You trust your significant other (really!), but sometimes you can't help but take a second look at the email he left up on the computer or notice his recent search history. If he's googling naked celebrities, it's probably not affecting the quality of your relationship -- even if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable or insecure.
The Party Dude
SEEMS SIMPLE, RIGHT? BUT FINESSING THE ART OF DOUBLE DATING WITH ANOTHER COUPLE ON A REGULAR BASIS REQUIRES PRACTICALLY AS MUCH RESTRAINT -- AND GUERILLA SOCIAL MANEUVERS -- AS YOU USED WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED SEEING YOUR NOW-SPOUSE. FOLLOW OUR DATE RULES SO YOU DON’T GET DUMPED...TIMES TWO.
Do ask questions...but not the wrong ones.
Yes, you’re curious about how many bedrooms their new home has, where they went to grad school, and when they plan to have kids, but going Spanish Inquisition on another couple just makes you two look pushy -- like you’re “interviewing” them to see if they’re worthy of another outing (okay, maybe you are, but they shouldn’t know that!). Better to toss them a more fun question like, “How’d you two meet?” that lets them tell an entertaining story without feeling like they’re being challenged to a game of 20 (uncomfortable) questions.
Don’t show off.
Really? You and your spouse went shark-diving on your honeymoon? You just bought the latest green SUV? And one of you got a promotion in this lousy economy? Wow. You two are amazing...wait, what’s that bubbling noise? Oh, it’s the other couple snoring in their soup.
Think of a double date like a ping-pong tournament. You two lob something interesting over; they ping it back with cool info about them. If your spouse hit the merlot too hard and won’t shut up, give him a little squeeze under the table and slide in a friendly, “So... what does everyone think about dessert?”
Do always pay for half.
Remember this equation: Good double date = 50/50 split with no itemizing. That means that if you and your partner didn’t order apps but the other couple did, you should still pony up half of the bill. Why? Because you’ll look like penny-pinching losers if you start playing the “who ordered what” game. But here’s the exception: If you racked up extra charges that landed on your shared bill, like the couple of drinks you downed at the bar while waiting for the other couple to show, tell the waiter you’d like to split the bill 60/40 or offer to cover the tip to make up the cost.
You were best friends in college and inseparable till graduation. But while you’ve moved on to bigger and better things, he’s still staying out all hours of the night and having one-night stands. It doesn’t help that his most recent one-nighter was with your boyfriend’s sister (whom he begged you to set him up with and then never called again).
The risk: Besides totally pissing off your boyfriend and his sister (who now thinks you’re a total jerk for setting her up with someone like him), his remarks on how you’re “so whipped” after awhile start to hit a nerve. Try to see him for special crazy nights once in a blue moon.… And please, stop setting him up with people you or your boyfriend know.